Category: Blog

August 2, 2017 Hanalei Vierra No comments exist

              We all have one.   No matter what shape or size or gender or nationality or religion, every human being has a CRITICAL VOICE in his or her head.   This isn’t a delusional or schizophrenic thing. As humans, we ALL talk to ourselves.   We all have…

July 17, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

    If you’re a guy reading this, there is one thing I would want you to be clear about if you are not familiar with your emotional world: being  uncomfortable with being emotionally vulnerable will severely limit your ability to show empathy to the person you love.   Empathy is that one crucial piece…

June 27, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

    One of the premises in the book I’ve written titled The TRUE HEART of a MAN is that I believe it is necessary for us to update whatever obsolete, idealized view we have about “masculinity” to a more relevant and enriching experience of what it means to “be a man” in the 21st…

June 18, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

  I’m a lucky man to be the father of my 17-year old daughter Kekoa.   Her full first name is Kekoaikapu’uwai, which in the Hawaiian language means “Warrior of the Heart”. And let me just say that so far in her young life, she lives up to her name BIG TIME (which her mom…

June 7, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

    Today’s post is an excerpt from the first chapter in my book. Lemme know if you relate to what I’m describing here!         “It’s pretty normal for us humans to “wear a mask” as we engage the world on a day-to-day basis. This mask or persona, which we also call “ego”, is…

May 31, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

    I grew up in a similar way that I think most men I know did. I was brainwashed into believing that what made a man look and feel “manly” and “masculine” was for me to act as if my emotional world did not exist.   I was completely clueless about the unintended consequences…

May 17, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

  There’s no avoiding it.   No matter how much we may think “It’s all his fault…” or “It’s all her fault…”, the breakdown of any relationship is usually the result of the emotional “blindspots” of BOTH people.   When it comes to talking about the GOOD STUFF as well as the NOT-SO-GOOD STUFF of…

May 10, 2017 Hanalei Vierra

Hello Everyone! Welcome to my first blog post! My goal is to use this weekly blog as a way to write about the things I’ve learned over many years as a Marriage & Family Therapist who has specialized in working with male clients of all ages, backgrounds, and relationship status.   That phrase “working with…